I moved over to my wordpress blog... Hopefully everything's working there now :) That's why in about 1 minute after you are on this page (just the index page, not any of my archive pages) this page will redirect you to my parent directory where the wordpress blog is at: http://theknittingdiva.com It's much easier to remember that way, isn't it? And, just my luck! After all that fussing to get THE perfect halloween template... Halloween is gone and done with :)

See you there! There's gonna be pictures of zombies, yarn PoRn galore from Secret Pals, Spookie Pals, and just yarn-y goodness in general, and I will be showing off my sadly lacking in growth... something on the Simple Knitted Bodice. My hope? That I will have it done my Christmas... and it will still fit.

Angela

doesn't everyone know I live in a trailer park yet? lol. if not then they might not understand why I just had to get this bookmark and why it considerably brightened my day.

The writing in yellow which is hard to read even on the bookmark itself says "The uncensored confessions of a trailer camp tramp"

This just struck me as really funny. Ok, I live in a trailer park not a trailer camp, but still. I am dying to get my hands on some garden gnomes and a pat of plastic flamingos.

Tonight I am working and reading Squire by Tamora Pierce, maybe carrying on to Lady Knight, who knows. Tomorrow afternoon kiddo is going to a Halloween party and I am off to The Prestige, all by my onesie, and I am very, very excited. I hope it is good. But before I do any of that, I have to get 4 super special packages together, 2 for just pals, 1 for my Spookie SP, and one for my SP9. I also have RAOK Halloween cards and Halloween Postcards for the Knittyboard Postcard list that need to be addressed and mailed off and I need to figure out how to let the ring mommies and the SP mommies and anyone else who needs to know that I am moving my blog from here to http://theknittingdiva.com as my wordpress blog. This blog is going to stay up as an archive link on that blog (archive)(or something I have decided) but the time has come.

I am still feeling down, but thanks to a sister who knows how to figure out everything there is to know about any drug known to man or any medical problem known to man... I am definitly going to the doctor next week, due to the fact that I am most assuredly on the wrong dose of Topamax... I am having splitting headaches and am becoming stupider and stupider every day.

i want my grandma.

it's funny. this should be one of the happiest periods of my life ever. for the first time in my life I have less than one hundred pounds to lose before I am normal sized. I've gone from 385lb to 227lbs in 10 months. From a BMI of 68 to 40, so from the extreme extreme of super extreme morbidly obese to the very low side of extremely obese which starts at 40. ( Overweight is from 25-29.9, Obese is 30-39.9, Extremely Obese is 40-50, and Super Obese is over 50 I was 68 and now I am 40.) I weigh less than I did in my FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL I so weigh less than I did when I got married, met my husband, etc etc etc. I barely remember weighing this little. I looked in the mirror the other day and couldn't recognize my BODY. It was missing.

so ontop of the depression thing there's also an identity crisis thing that I wasn't really expecting to happen quite yet. oh it's been on the sidelines here and there creeping up, but I've been pretty good at beating it back. Unfortunately, when I get depressed, my defenses are not so good and it gets the best of me.

Me and Barry were talking about what to do as an anniversary celebration. Originally I was gonna do Disneyland, but I decided that 3 themeparks in one year was fucking insane and a waste of money (seaworld, knotts and disney? no way) so nix on that one. Plus I want to save it for a different day and disney at christmas time is a little to hectic. How about a different idea? Oh I was going somewhere with this but my mind totally blanked on me. crap. *yawn* I am so tired. and angsty. the stupamax as my sister told me it is sometimes called-- apparently if you are on the wrong dosage of topamax it can make you 'dumber than a box of rocks' hmmm sound like anyone we know of lately?! but also in accordance with this breaking the dosage up into two doses morning and night isnt reccomended either, so I am going to smoosh them together and see if that helps. either way im gonna see the doctors.

oh. anniversary. what should i do for my 1 year anniversary? I am going out on a limb here but I can say with reasonable certainty
that I will be pretty freaking close to being 200lbs or less by December 12, making my total weight loss for 1 year post op 185. (squeeeeee) I should start a stitchmarker sales thing for my reconstructive surgery. The power of the internet can be such a powerful thing, you know?

Meanwhile, I continue to wish I could just crawl under my bed, summon the tardis and find a way back to 1996 or some other date back in my childhood when my grandma was still alive and able to comfort me like nobody else. I'd miss my daughter and husband...

maybe it's headaches in constant, nonstop succession. maybe it's midsemester slump. maybe it's just a bipolar thing. I feel like crap and I want to freaking cry. Actually I want someone to remind me why I should stay here. Not here, in my house, or here in Lancaster, but here-- the metaphysical here. Here with everybody here.

I am having a moment of pure and utter tiredness that can only come from running around and around and around. I did a stupid thing not long ago and said, I need to up my dosage and waited to refill my medication until I could see the doctor about doing that, but by the time I could see my doctor about it, I couldn't afford to pay for my prescription so I had to wait until I could and ran out of medication. When I went back on the medication I went back on the medication at the new dosage which was considerably higher of a dosage than before, but not that much if I had been taking it without a break, which I hadn't been.

So I have been experiencing really strange side effects like: memory lapses. Problems with concentration, getting lost in areas that I have known all my life, moodswings (when the drugs I am taking are to counteract mood swings), having problems with my judgement, being down, and just having problems in general.

Overall I am sad and just blue. My earlier post was raging and mad, but I was still kind of sad and tired, right now I am tired and sad and just want to sleep. I wish that I didn't have any of my regular responsibilities and I could go check myself into a ward for a couple of weeks to they could fix my medicine and get me on track but in saying that I realize that I am probably being self indulgent and am seeking more of the calm regulation of the routine than the actual getting straight of the medication. (and if I really wanted the routine I could do it myself, I am just too damn lazy, so really I just want somone to do it for me)

im just so damn tired

Sometimes, I really shouldn't listen to podcasts and drive at the same time.

Once I was driving and listening to KnitWit: Ravings of A Rabid Knitter I think it was episode 16, "Misperceptions" I like her because she's one of the knitting podcasters I can listen to when my husband is in the car without him groaning and rolling his eyes. When you find a podcaster who can talk about knitting and capture your husband's attention too, you tend to like them and adopt them as your own, you know? The same with Brenda Dayne, but everybody worships her so I don't need to pimp her out or anything. Back to Carry, and seeing red. I was listening to her podcast while driving down to see Barry and damn, it just occurred to me, he's been in San Diego ALOT this year. Anyhow, the people who were down on her podcast just pissed me off so much I had to pull over and I was foaming at the mouth, intent on leaving an audio message on her podcast. :) I ended up emailing her as soon as I got to his hotel instead, but my point is I was quivering in anger.

Now then, to the last episode of Cast-On, talking about the saga of the Tilli Tomas yarn over at Sarah's Yarns. Since I am currently knitting the Simple Knitted Bodice, I thought, oh, I looked at this website and perked up. And got more and more and more pissed off and Brenda went on. Let me say that I do not believe that Sarah's yarns was discounting it like all that incredibly much, say, 75% off of what everyone else was doing. I think it was $10 off or so. That pissed me off, that the other retailers would kick up a fuss over it, but that Tilli Tomas would not have disclosed a keystone pricing agreement at the beginning of their contract with Sarah's Yarns is just unbelievable. It's one thing to say, you must adhere to our pricing fixture, and it's quite another to change the rules of the game right in the middle. It's fucked-- plain and simple. And quite simply, between you and me, I have been somewhat disgusted with the Tilli Tomas line of yarns for awhile. They are beautiful yes, but they are overpriced-- there are other yarns at lower prices that are just as pretty. And when it comes to finding it in your brick and mortar stores?! My LYS has it marked up even farther! Wild Fiber has rockstar for $48 a skein. *faint* I think it's ridiculous.

Then, to turn around and issue a statement saying that they have removed their Keystone Pricing Structure knowing that it would be displayed on Sarah's Yarns blog, but without resuming their relationship with Sarah's Yarns? To me that's just like saying, let's appease the rabid people who are frothing at the mouth and sending us all the nasty emails while not truly backing down. Because until they actually resume their relationship with Sarah's Yarns they won't have backed down or changed their ways.

And it makes me glad that I didn't choose their beautiful yarn for my SKB. Because the whole idea that the price for yarn has to be five hundred and seventy five percent above lionbrand's in order for it to be considered "luxury" is pure baloney. It's based on the fiber-- not the freaking price. IMO.

my brain hurts.

I have spent far too much on yarn and far too much on secret pals in the last week. lol. I get carried away. :)

Do you wanna know what I am hoping to do some day soon? LAMPWORKING! I want to take a class @ www.stitchcafe.com with the woman from www.beadbrains.com I am very excited.

Take care

No yarn goodies yet, but my oh my.

I went on a yarn crawl with my daughter and my sister today. We started at Wild Fiber, in Santa Monica (the only yarn store in my 3 year old nephew's opinion, he actually cried because he was getting left behind with daddy. This is because he has a hat fetish, I am sure and just loves trying on hats.) Megan had a cow when she got there and saw all of the fantastic things she had JUST SEEN the other day on the Martha Stewart show!!! Seriously, she practically wet her pants. When I pointed out Mel Clark, the shop's proprietor and co-author of Knit2Together, Megan was awestruck. She was amazed and terrified to speak to Mel in that, OMG I CANT BELIEVE THEY ARE RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME WAY. It was cute and staggering because my baby's got a chatterbox inside her that never shuts down or takes a pause for air, especially around strangers. Mel was very nice and chatted with Megan and even signed the copy of Knit2Together to Megan, which was very awesome indeed. Megan drove home with the book on her lap--after she went through it page by page, describing all of the things in the book to us.

Then we were off to La Knitterie Parisienne, home of the Mother of Purl, Edith Eig. I have one word for this store. WOW. It's like a shock to the senses, I have been in bookstores like this one that have made me nearly pass out from a 'joygasm'... but wow. There was just so much yarn. I mean holy cow! I wish I had brought my camera in. And Ms Eig helped Megan find a button on their enormous double sided wall of buttons. When I get finished with my Modesitt corset tank, I know where I'm going for the buttons.
That said, the labyrinthian layout of the stores, with the yarn piled high up to the ceiling, and the narrow walk ways between the display shelves very ended our little yarn crawl. Both me and my sister are heavy, so we felt very crowded. I was starting to get dizzy with a crushing sense of claustrophobia and if it weren't for the buttons and two balls of Noro Aurora I had in my hand, I may have run for the door. It started slowly, and at first I attributed it to just sensory overload. I meant it when I said there was just so much yarn. But the longer we were in there the more I felt this dizzying need to be OUTSIDE. However, it could have been that it was Saturday afternoon and there was a boatload of customers inside. Also, another thing I didn't really care for was a complete and utter lack of pricing displays. almost nothing had a price listed on it, near it, around it, or in clear view. As Brigitte said, it gave you a sense of the restaurants without prices-- if you need to ask, you shouldn't be here. How terribly gauche of you to inquire as to the price of that ball of yarn that's only got 63yards! (I am not sure that this is what they are going for, and overall I did like the selection and will totally be going back for buttons.)

After that it was off to Unwind, which was a spacious and airy and alltogether delightful yarn store. They had the 1000 Motifs book I have been looking so hard for and not finding, a book on designing kidswear, which looks promising, some awesome yarns, and a really friendly, helpful staff. Plus they have a card, for every $10 or $20 (can't remember) you get a punch on your card and you get a discount or something when it's full; plus they give you a discount on your birthday. (mine's coming up you know.) I just loved the wide open airy feeling of the store, and their discounted yarn & pattern sections. :) Oh, yeah. They had an awesome scrumbled handbag that I really really liked.

And finally, our last stop was Stitch Cafe. Now, I have been going to Wild Fiber on a regular basis for a little over a year now, but I can see me frequenting Stitch Cafe alot more. First it's closer and I don't have to fight the 405 to get ther (yay!) Second it's just so... inviting! Third, it's really amazing. Wait till I post pictures. The staff was really cool and I can see myself getting into a ton of trouble with their WIP bags. :) I think I stomed on someone's toes. Another customer was knitting a sweater and when she came to the end of her one ball of yarn, she was at a loss for how to join the next ball. The clerk told her to leave the old yarn down(it was at the beginning of a row) and just start with the new yarn and NOT TO KNOT IT! And as if my mouth had a life of its own (this is embarassing) I said, "Is that wool? Will it felt? Because if it can you can spit felt/splice the two ends together seamlessly." I tried to explain it and when explaining failed, ended up showing it to this poor lady (gorgeous sweater btw--- too much ribbing for me, so I told her she was amazing and totally meant it. Anyone who knits a sweater with more than an inch of ribbing---especially all in ribbing---deserves a knitting valor medal or something.) But yeah, pretty soon I had spit slickened fingers toying with this poor stranger's yarn and rubbing it between my hands... and viola! it spliced and felted perfectly, and you can't tell when it's knitted in. I learned this from A Gathering of Lace, the rainbow shawl, shawl of my dreams... I want the yarn to make it badly, even though it's not very lacy.
I walked away with loads of yarn and a pretty green Stitch Cafe bag.
As I put my last round of purchases in my trunk, I gazed in completely relaxed awe at the manifestation of the day's activities. And that's when my sister asked me what size my pants were and told me they looked HUUUUUUUUGE on me, like you could hardly tell they were pants; and here I thought they were cute turqoise capris. *groan* I looked like a lunatic. Maybe not that bad, but definitly not my best. sigh. crazy knitter lady in horrible baggy clothing-- seriously I could almost hear "Send in the Clowns" when I looked at my picture on the little lcd screen after she took a pic to show me. LMAO

I had a great time! until we got to cocos. LMAO

Angela

I was so gung ho about moving to wordpress and now I have stalled. I haven't managed to import this blog, so I am going to manually link to the archive pages here. :)

Anyhow, what a weekend.

I made pemmican, and got back to cooking real food.

The pemmican was an experience, but believe it or not I think I could get used to the taste rather quickly. The major problem is the taste of the fat (I cheated and used Crisco this time) and I was not too sure about using dried blueberries (mmmm dried blueberries) but they don't alter the flavor too much. Next time I am considering adding a couple of teaspoons of dry roasted nuts to the mix to amp up the protein. :)

Check out the wordpress blog!

So... snicker. I have just finished watching the Libertine with Johnny Depp. It was an out there movie, but I loved it. Girls, if you can still have the hots for Johnny after you see this movie all the way through (with his face sloughing off during the last stages of syphillis, one blind eye and nose caved in) and if you can still find him attractive despite how wrong and dirty his character is... well, you must be me. (lol)

anyhow, my blogthings:

My Aliases

Your movie star name: Cheese Boyd Your fashion designer name is Angela Hackney Your socialite name is Freight Train Los Angeles Your fly girl / guy name is A Fol Your detective name is Penguin Pearblossom Your barfly name is Cookie White Russian Your soap opera name is Michelle Jubilee Run Your rock star name is Reeses Dsl Your Star Wars name is Angozz Folbar Your punk rock band name is The Quirky Dildo

and an update on the sockwars.

ALAS! I am dead. I was slayed! and hows this for bizarre? my victim and my assassin share the same first name, which they also share with me!!!

Angela