Been so dedicated to a series or group of characters that when the writer takes one of the characters so far beyond the pale that you just CANNOT finish the book, but at the same time you have been with them for so long that you NEED to finish the book?

Let me give you some backstory. I'm sure I have said on here before that the day I first met my husband(in person) one of the first things he said to me was, "There's 11 months, 2 weeks, 4 days and X ammount of hours until Star Wars Episode One is released." A large part of our courtship was taken up chatting about SW and I remember one night, the night of the internet release of the SWE1 trailer he called me in hysterics because his computer DIED, seriously DIED. He called me just so he could listen with me as I watched the trailer (which took forever because, hello, we were still jazzed about our 56 modem, hehehe). When the news of our pregnancy hit, friends and relatives begged us not to name our child Luke, Leia, Anakin, or Padme. (and as a side note, I have long hoped that after Megan if we had a boy we could name him Corran Alexander Michael, Corran after my favorite Jedi, and Alexander after... Xander Harris of course!) He made me watch copies, including a bootleg of Episode One, of StarWars at least once a month throughout the pregnancy, hoping to brainwash our unborn child into liking StarWars. It worked. One of her first words was Maul--as in Darth Maul. Her first favorite movie was Episode One, and she has had more lightsabre training than any other six year old girl I know...
Somewhere during the past 8 years I started reading Star Wars novels. I cheered my way through the cleanup of the Fall of the Empire, cried my way through the birth of the twins and Anakin. I read the children's novels, and the young adult novels. As my thirst for StarWars grew, so did the heroes and the children of my heroes.
Right before Megan was born they started a new series, The New Jedi Order. The first book was controversial, it started and finished with a bang. Not only was the new enemy alien and undetectable through the Force, but Chewbacca died and Han Solo stopped talking to his family. Core beliefs that no one important every really dies were forsaken. Star Wars novels had grown up. The plots were gripping, people got hurt, heroes ran away instead of facing their duty. And, in the midst of all this, the New Republic fell.
The Solo's didn't just lose a trusted friend and co-pilot in this series, they also lost a son; their youngest. Anakin died and in the aftermath of his death Jaina went a little Dark Side herself. Jacen was captured by the Yuuzhon Vong (the baddies) and put on a path that might yet lead to his (and his family's destruction).
And when the story arc came to a head, dissembling the Force and asking us to seriously question the rationale behind the Old Republic Jedis... I was curious. I loved it. Then I had to wait for what seemed like forever until they came out with a new bunch of books. A trilogy that dealt with some of the characters from the book in which Anakin dies, Jaina gets ready to go dark, and Jacen is taken. And in that series, questionable things happened, but more importantly, Jace is made a father. In secret.
So now we are arrived at the present time and present story arc. Legends of the Force. There's an intergallactic civil war going on and it seems that everybody is starting to think maybe the Empire wasn't so bad after all. Jacen and Jaina are 31, Jaina isn't married, but Jacen is (secretly) and he has a four year old that no one knows about. Jacen is walking a narrow path; his skill in the Force outdistances Luke's. He is torn, worse than he was torn in the New Jedi Order series. Only now, there's someone to help him, and she's helping him right to the Dark Side and beyond.

I thought I could stomach it. I really did. But I can't. I can't stomach watching/reading as a character I have watched grow up (and really, grown up with myself, I was a very young 18 year old when I started reading these books) turn into a monster. Every chapter makes my skin crawl and my stomach hurt. And the scene I just finished? Where shortly after throwing himself into the past and watching Anakin mow down the Younglings, Jacen begins raiding Coruscanti Corellians to send to internment camps, with his very own elit gaurd... the parellels between Jacen and Vader are creepy. I don't think I can continue. Honestly I don't.

I feel like writing a eulogy for Jacen.

And now for something completely different.

I watched the Season Premiere of ER. The last time I cried that hard was when Gallant died (or before when he returned) I cheered out loud at the end. That was a great Season opener. I cleaned out my Tivo, and got it ready for a thorough cleansing this weekend. Knitting and Television, who could ask for more.

I didn't knit during ER, I needle felted a larger ball using an atumnal colorway of Rowan Biggie Print. For some reason, it reminds me of Jupiter. I think it needs sparklies. :)

TTYL angela